Many people have told me that they thought it's been remarkable how involved I've been in Michael's ICU and Rehab experience, not leaving his side if I could help it, assisting the nurses, prodding the doctors.
While I admit I'm grateful to have discovered the important gift of what a strong stomach I have for messy medical stuff, my actions were determined largely by a theory I developed years ago.
I call it my "Most Interested Party" Theory and it goes like this:
The person who is the Most Interested Party (MIP) will get something done more resourcefully, more quickly and more effectively than any other party involved.
Also, the MIP will make sure that Something is done - as opposed to Nothing is done, Nothing often being perfectly acceptable to a lesser interested party.
Collorary:
One's willingness to allow any another party to handle any action that directly and undeniably affects you is determined by:
1. Hitting a "Knowledge Wall," i.e., it requires expertise you don't have, such as medicine, dentistry or computer hard drives (although Google and other search engines have brought fast personal education in quite nicely to delay this factor)
2. Virtual Helplessness, i.e., a rule or boundry you can not control or cross, often connected with a government or any other bureaucracy that has guards present
3. Real Trust, i.e., the other person cares as much as you do about the result or is evolved enough to really care about the fact that you care
4. Diminished Passion, i.e., you don't care that much, so the Result Risk (RR) is acceptable
This theory has stood me well over the years, especially as an advocate for someone I love (like Michael), especially when at the mercy of a hospital, which, after all, is only staffed by mere and extremely busy human beings.
Control Freaks and Others Love the MIP Theory
Hm! I can hear you asking, is there a mild scent of Control Freak coming off this theory? No, I declare, not for me. Normally, I'm kinda easy-going and laissez-faire.I do admit that the MIP Theory is indeed the underlying belief system for any respectable Control Freak, however, you don't have to BE a Control Freak to use my Theory.
You simply have to have observed that you've been disappointed by other people's lack of priority to deal with something you thought was important. I felt anger about this when I first discovered it. Why don't they care as much as I do? How dare they?
But now I feel no rancor is needed and consider it a simple Fact of Life: Nobody cares more than you do about what you care about. My theory just stands to reason.
So, I ask myself in any given situation, "How much do I care?"
If the answer is "Not that much" or "Somewhat," then I'll take my chances delegating, suggesting or asking.
BUT...if the answer is "Passionately!!!!!" then I know what I have to do.
Everything I can.
