Flirting With Reality: Just Interviewed by Alan Cohen on his Hay House Internet Radio Show

Flirting With Reality: Just Interviewed by Alan Cohen on his Hay House Internet Radio Show
www.Tiny.cc/weightlossinterview

Just Interviewed by Alan Cohen on his Hay House Internet Radio Show

Inspirational speaker and author Alan Cohen had me as his guest on his Internet radio show on the Hay House Wisdom Community website as a weight loss expert ( ironic for me, since my job now is to put weight ON someone, at which I've been very successful: Michael's up from 110 to about 130 now - yay - and I'm up about 15 pounds - damn!).

It was good to be back in the saddle as in inspirational speaker - especially as this is an unexpected season of my life where I get to walk my talk. Makes you think about what you believe. And I stick to my firm belief that you have to focus on health - not weight - or your inner rebel will show up immediately and stay for dinner.

The interview will be available at HayHouseRadio website at for two weeks, starting May 7th (and then you need to have an ID/password to access archived interviews) - but I'll publish it on my website soon, as this blog won't accept the link.

So if anyone out there is visiting this blog for the first time, I want to give you the fabulous piece I read on air that's about self-acceptance. The author was unknown, so I cleaned it up and rewrote it. (Note to authors: ALWAYS put your name on your work!)

WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM THE ROSE

Author Unknown

Rewritten by Patricia Alexander

When we plant a rose seed in the earth,

we notice that it is small

…but we do not criticize it as rootless and stemless.

Rather, we treat it as a seed,

giving it water and nourishment.

When it first shoots up out of the earth,

we don’t condemn it as immature and underdeveloped;

nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear.

Rather, we stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs

at each stage of its development.

The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed

to the time it dies.

At all times, it contains its whole potential within it.

As a result, it is constantly in the process of evolving.

Yet, at each stage…at each moment…

…it is perfectly all right as it is.

I believe that it is only from this point of self-love and acceptance that you can become the healthiest version of yourself you can be. We are all roses at our own stages of life, thorns and petals all part of the deal!

ICU Visit For Closure

We returned to the Intensive Care Unit at Twin Cities in Templeton to Say Thank You! We're Alive and Well - Thanks to Your Care! (The lady on the far left is the caring and resourceful Anna, who'd bagged me my illicit cot, bless her!)
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We knew we had to do it.

It was good manners. It was an act of encouragement for their souls and ours. It was closure.

We knew we had to back to the ICU where Michael had spent 33 fateful days and nights.

Plus, we had a 5-pound box of See's Candy to give the staff, the grateful compliments of Bill and Susan Burgos. (Do you know how many free samples they offer you while they're filling a 5-pounder? Oy! Don't ask!)

We both had a certain amount of trepidation about going back. Although Michael has no memory of that time, he feared what he might see behind the ICU double doors. And as for me - I remembered everything.

None of the doctors who treated Michael were there, but I knew all the shift nurses - and they were completely THRILLED to see us. They had just released several patients and the ward was light - so they could spend time with us and it was less stressful for Michael (no one yelling, no buzzers or bells. It was meaningful to the nurses to see Michael walk in on his own power, a little thin, but obviously doing so well. He thanked and hugged them multiple times.

They hugged me lots and told me how good it was to see me rested. "She was exhausted!" They exclaimed to Mr. B.

They said many complimentary things to him about me. "She wouldn't leave your side, even to go to the bathroom unless someone was with you," remembered one nurse. Michael smiled lovingly and squeezed me. My face trickled the whole time like a leaky boat.

The isolation room with the outer alcove for changing into gown/gloves/mask was empty and wide open, so I took Michael in and showed him where we'd spent most of our time. As we left, I said to the nurses, "Hey, someone left their slippers under a chair in that empty room."

"Oh that's not an empty room," they answered. "They took that patient out to run a test."

Whoa! When we were in that room, you could not have mistaken it for empty. The chair bed in the corner covered with blankets...bags of food...a suitcase...an iPod...cards taped to the wall. I sighed, hoping it meant that the occupant wasn't going to be there long and not that he didn't have someone there for him.

Well, that hadn't been so bad. Closure!

BAD REPLAY.

Then we went downstairs and Gerri, the lovely lady in Admissions, called us over to sign our book. She'd come up to the ICU several weeks in, saying God had put us on her heart and that she'd been praying for us. She brought us a book by Max Lucado about hope, and I'd given her a copy of our book. So many people like Gerri with generous and spiritual hearts held us up during that difficult time.

So now we were standing in her office and she was telling us how she'd known Michael was extremely sick when we'd first come in. She talked on for a while and Michael indicated he needed to sit down. As we both slid into the two chairs on the other side of Gerri's desk, I suddenly had a flashback. It was a physical duplication of how we started the whole nightmarish journey.

I think I almost started to hyperventilate. Gerri had to take a call and I clutched Michael's sleeve. "I need us to leave," I whispered urgently - so we stood up. Gerri got off the phone, grabbed our hands and prayed with us and we all hugged - and finally we left.

All in all, Michael found the whole visit less disturbing than he'd feared - but I was kind of a wreck for two days. I felt overwhelmed, sad and fragile. To relive that moment was So traumatic.

Emotionally, Michael took care of me. He was so sweet and attentive. He's intensely aware that I'm recovering as much as he is and we are definitely taking care of each other. I went into a cocoon mode as much as I could over the next two days, hanging out in our bed, watching my Gilmore Girls DVDs, doing puzzles, reading, eating (my lifelong standby comfort), and cuddling with Michael as he stroked my forehead, and playing "Stuffy Theater" with Michael and our stuffies. In other words, I turned to all my comforts.

Hey, now's definitely the time to walk my talk.

Two days later I awakened feeling more ready to face the world.

It's not lost on me that there's some kind of strange symmetry to us starting and finishing the ICU part of this journey in those two chairs.

I'm just so relieved to be on the finishing end of it.

1st Entry From Michael Himself!!!!

DICTATED TO PATRICIA BY MICHAEL:
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It has been made clear to me that while I was in intensive care, my organs failing, my body reeling, that my spirit needed to make a decision.

Should I go to the light? Or return to that body, with all its challenges, and live out the remainder of my life in physical form.

In many ways, it seems counter-intuitive to return to physical form and face the long journey of regeneration, retrieving my lost abilities from the stroke, existing for months in a weakened 112-pound body, working to regain some semblance of my pre-illness self.

The answer, simply enough, is I came back for love.

To express love, to receive love, to know love, to share love. I have been blessed with a life enriched with sweet individuals who have reserved special little places for me in their enormous hearts.

And I am especially fortunate to have one particular person - my "Whosis" - with whom I share a daily life exchanging great fondness and affection. Patricia and I share the deepest of joyful soul connections and, in addition, we find great pleasure in each other's personalities.

How lucky am I to spend my life with a person I love and like - a person who entertains me, who stimulates me - who always bring a smile to my face - who can make my blood boil (PATRICIA: Is that for being sexy or angry? MICHAEL (LAUGHS): We'll leave that up to the interpretation of the reader!) - a person who sweetly purrs next to me at night (PATRICIA: You mean snores!) and giggles at my humor during the day.

A person who's loyal beyond question, steadfast beyond all reason, a person who has displayed for me the truest meaning of commitment, the dearest friend a person could ever have in a lifetime - and my forever sweetheart - soon to be my Mrs. B.

So there! I came back for love.

And I don't regret it. (Although next time my spirit inhabits a body, I'm going to order bigger biceps and two functioning kidneys.)

"Why me?"
There is a voice inside of me that does express itself and asks "Why me? Haven't I had enough physical distress and challenges for a lifetime? Why all this crap now?"

I usually reframe the extraordinary health challenges that have been brought my way as some of my most profound life lessons. They soften me by making me more empathetic, both to myself and others. I tell people I wouldn't wish this suffering on anyone, much less myself.

That always moves me, because I feel a great compassion for self...which is my biggest life lesson.

My latest tussle with the nasty H1N1 virus has afforded me the opportunity to be of service as a spokesperson for vaccination. I have a simple message for everyone: Why risk spending 40 days in Intensive Care when you can just get a shot and protect yourself?

If my message reaches anyone and convinces them to be inoculated, then my suffering has not been in vain.

(How's that for a biblical semblance!)

CA Dept. of Public Health Wants Michael to be Poster Boy for Vaccinations!!

Wow!!!! I'm Going to Be the New Poster Boy for Getting a Swine Flu Shot!!"
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This just in! Got an email from the Public Relations firm that represents the California Department of Public Health. It seems someone at the CDPH saw the newspaper article and suggested we be contacted to see if Michael would be interested in participating in some media interviews.

And, unlike the SLO Tribune, they like that we wrote a book about mind/body/spirit health!

As you can imagine, Michael was on board - and you know I was. (They're interested in my take as a caregiver who went through the experience with Michael - and as an inspirational speaker who addresses caregiver groups.) They promised not to schedule any phone or article interviews for early in the morning (which Michael would have requested even before the Swine Flu) and if there's TV, we can probably do it from the San Luis Obispo TV station.

We connected with a very pleasant young woman, Kierstan DeLong, who came to realize quickly that we already had some media experience from promoting The Book of Comforts.

"You're making my job so easy!" she said with appreciation. Our pleasure, Kierstan!

And it really is. Our hearts are to use our painful experiences to help others avoid repeating them. And if we happen to promote the book and speeches and workshops along the way, well, it's in alignment with our life's mission to encourage others to realize the healthy power of being Reasonable Hedonists.

NEW SWINE FLU OUTBREAK COMING
This is all happening because the CDPH is expecting a third outbreak since the public is suffering from the delusion that the Swine Flu has run its course (they can't give the vaccine away)...and with spring break coming.

What people don't know is that it takes two weeks for the vaccination to take effect - so when it comes to students - coming to your community soon - ideally, the Health Dept. wants them to get vaccinated before spring break. (People also don't know that if they do get a cold or flu that they should see their doctor early, not late, to get the Tamiflu, just in case, as it's the only thing that can knock the Swine Flu back to a less severe version.)

The PR firm is planning a wave of media featuring a doctor. But they know that the public also wants to hear from a non-doctor person, too - and that's Michael.

I KNOW I SHOULD GET A VACCINATION, BUT...
Many of you have written to us that our situation started a fire circle of your friends getting vaccinated. But I can also tell you that I have had people look me right in the eye, express sincere sympathy for what we've been through - and then admit they are NOT going to get vaccinated! (Hold me back! Hold me back!)

You know, I understand people waffling about getting a vaccination, since many of us are suspicious about them or have heard stories about bad side effects. However, after what Michael and I have been through, I couldn't be more clear about how much better it is to GET THE DAMN VACCINATION!!!

Triple that if you have a compromised immune system...
...or live with someone who does...
... or work in an environment where you come into constant contact with people.

And by the way, let me define "compromised" or "at risk" immune systems: that's when you have a health-affecting contributing factor, such as being a SENIOR, OBESITY, CANCER HISTORY, DIABETES, HEART ISSUES, LUPUS, ASTHMA, ANEMIA...you know - anything on that noxious list they have you check off when you see a new doctor. Sadly, it's rare to be able to leave all those boxes unchecked, isn't it?

FIND YOUR LOCAL SWINE FLU VACCINE HERE
Kierstan sent me this fabulous link to find where you can get your vaccination:
Check out the vaccine locator tool at www.cdph.ca.gov. You can simply type in your zip code for a comprehensive map and list of both free and paid vaccine clinics near you. You can also text 30644 and enter the words NO FLU and your zip code to receive a message back with the nearest vaccinator information.

Please write me at patricia@patriciaalexander.com or comment on this blog to say you've gotten your vaccination. It will encourage me not to throttle people when they don't.

P.S. - Special thanks and kudos to my Weight Watchers Territory Manager, Bobbie Surra, who was touched by our troubles enough to arrange to offer H1N1 vaccinations to people attending the recent Open House at various Weight Watcher locations. Bobbie, you rock!

(And I look forward to ending my Leave of Absence from leading WW meetings in about a month. Hugs to all my members and thanks to Terrie and Juana for taking over my meetings.)

Home Again, Home Again - Jiggity Jig!

Isn't Michael the Picture of Cozy?
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There's our kitty Valentine in her bed in front of the fireplace...there's fattening food on the table and - what do we see? - oh YES - a giNORmous bottle of CHERRY COKE! Oh, and a woman who is waiting on him hand and foot - AND LOVING IT! What more could a man want?
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There's only one word for the last three days, which was our first time home together after 55 days of medical hell: Dee-lish-ious, Dee-lerious and Dee-lightful.

I will say I worked really hard - to ignore all the chores that surrounded me, that is. And they are plentiful. Piles of mail, piles of clothes from our double unpacking, piles of unpacked office boxes deserted in mid-move. Oy!

But being the Reasonable Hedonist I am, I delicately shoved it all aside with a nudge of my toe and walked directly to the couch from the bed, and from the bed to the couch, with a few stops in the kitchen.

What a joy it was to cook my sweetie's favorite foods! He still doesn't eat large quantities - and never did before this happened - but he does eat often. A favorite nosh is a corn or flour tortilla with some shredded Mexican cheese melted on it, chunks of avocado, spread with salsa and sour cream. (And for this he thinks I'm a brilliant cook.) Oh, and mini-hot fudge Sundaes.

GRAB BARS IN THE SHOWER
We had Deric the always-good-smelling handyman install some grab bars in the shower and Mr. B. had the delirious pleasure of showering for as long as he liked and without a fully clothed nurse's aid instructing him to wash his private parts - while watching to see that he does.

(Although I do remember that when the nurse's aid was lovely Linda helping in the two-minute shower, she was constantly giggling at high volume - but what the heck - I can deny him nothing.)

Coming home, Michael had some anxiety about being able to climb our stairs. He thought he might have to sleep downstairs, in spite of dreaming wistfully of our king-sized bed. But since the stairs are not steep and have two landings, he did just fine with them - as, frankly, I knew he would.

I will say that our legs are sore from going up and down the stairs many times. Yes, mine too - as I'm out of shape after all that sitting. So - home IS rehab.

OUTPATIENT REHAB STARTED TODAY

But there is real Rehab and it started today in Paso Robles. Here is Maria, the Physical Therapist, assessing Michael's balance and strength. He did really well. She asked him to walk around the gym area for six minutes - and although he didn't know if he could do it, he did it.

I will say that Michael was fairly traumatized after two hours of Occupational and Physical Therapy, mainly because they had to assess him. While they look at it as "strengths and challenges," he mainly felt demoralized with how thin and weak he is in comparison to how he was just two months ago.

I tried to encourage him to put it into perspective while also trying to validate his feelings. Tricky stuff. Kind of like poking a bear while explaining that the poking is good for their hide.

Thank goodness I make a mean mini-hot fudge Sundae!

Here's the SLO Tribune Article About Us Today!

Well, the article finally hit today - and we made the FRONT PAGE!!
We thought it was cool to see our own mugs through the newspaper dispenser machine window. Check out the article below or at: http://tinyurl.com/tribunestory .

Let us know what you think. We think it's sweet, focusing on our love and a new understanding of the importance of vaccines when you're immune-system compromised. It's a little underdone, but with only two Glaring Errors:

1. Michael went down to 110 pounds and is now around 114-116, NOT 124 - and -

2. It was NOT a medically induced coma, which is different from the deep sedation Michael had.

... and three Major Omissions:

1. Hello! Most newspaper stories mention your occupation! Award-winning local authors here! (Get The Book of Comforts by order in any bookstore or at EarthTones in Paso Robles.)

2. It's a shame they wouldn't give the reporter the space to write about Chris Van Huff coming to inspire Michael.

3. A sidebar showing where to get your Swine Flu shot would have been beneficial to the community AND letting people know to see a doctor quickly to get Tamiflu meds to keep the flu from getting to hospitalization stage, Swine or not.

See my added comment to the article at the end that will at least show up online and clarify some of that!

Published: Sunday, Feb. 21, 2010

Paso Robles man fights for his life against swine flu

A Paso Robles cancer survivor who’s been through more than his share of medical ordeals is recovering from his toughest one yet: an intense battle with the H1N1 virus that brought him to the brink of death

By AnnMarie Cornejo | acornejo@thetribunenews.com

Michael Burgos’ last memory before spending 33 days in the intensive care unit at Twin Cities Community Hospital is of playing golf with friends.0

That was before he was infected with swine flu.

The ensuing battle to survive is something he bears physically. After losing 24 pounds in almost as many days, Burgos is now frail. He walks gingerly because his coordination is haphazard, the effect of complications brought on by the illness that almost killed him. Even his 124 pounds seems a lot to carry.

Click image to see caption

Swine flu patient Michael Burgos acknowledges his longtime companion, Patricia Alexander, from his bed at Twin Cities Community Hospital in Templeton in January.

By David Middlecamp | dmiddlecamp@thetribunenews.com

larger version purchase prints

A pair of shoes from well-wishers offers messages of encouragement to Michael Burgos.

By David Middlecamp | dmiddlecamp@thetribunenews.com

larger version purchase prints

• 
• 

“I keep thinking this is not real,” he said. “This can’t be happening to me — it must be just a dream because I woke up like this.”

Burgos, once an opponent of vaccines for the flu, now champions getting them.

The life-threatening experience Burgos has endured remains largely obscure to him. The 51-year-old Paso Robles man remembers little about the last few months. His longtime companion, Patricia Alexander, shares pieces of the ordeal with Burgos as he is ready, and has chronicled the experiences on her blog. Burgos plans to read it one day, but for now he remains focused on re-establishing his health.

Healing will take time. In addition to learning to walk again, he must also learn to read and write once more. A stroke caused by the flu affected the motor skills on the left side of his body and weakened his eyesight.

“It is really shocking not to be able to write your own name,” Burgos said. “I was a gym rat, and now I can barely walk. It is freaky.”

Childhood cancer

This isn’t the first time that Burgos had to fight serious illness to survive.

When he was only 2 years old, he lost a kidney to cancer and went through radiation treatments. The cancer came back in the form of lymphoma when he was 28, and he underwent seven months of chemotherapy.

Since then, Burgos has lived a regimented lifestyle: routinely going to the gym, eating well and sleeping often. He rarely got ill, and never contracted the flu or the common cold.

“I was in perfect health,” said Burgos. “I thought I wouldn’t get it. I learned a big lesson.”

Now he is drawing on inner strength to survive again.

“I have to bear down and focus inside,” Burgos said. “It takes a lot of energy on my part to stay optimistic and look beyond the stresses of right now.”

Numerous complications

Alexander spent countless nights sleeping on a cot next to Burgos in the intensive care unit. The story she tells differs vastly from what Burgos is able to share — it includes painstaking details of every medical procedure and scare along the way. And there were many.

Burgos suffered complications from the swine flu including pneumonia, kidney problems, a medically induced coma and a small stroke.

He was intubated twice to help him breathe and fed for nearly a month by a feeding tube in his stomach.

“I couldn’t help but feel that the lifesaving things were just becoming the next torture,” Alexander said. A happy ending didn’t seem feasible, she said. “At one point I was ready to let him go because he was suffering so much.”

Burgos, who spent several weeks rehabilitating at a hospital in Santa Barbara, was allowed to go home four days ago. There is still a long road to complete recovery with at least a year of additional therapy needed.

Now taking the vaccine

Burgos said he was reluctant to get the H1N1 vaccine because he was so healthy and couldn’t conceive of purposely putting a virus into his body.

“I read about the virus in the paper, but I really thought there was no way that I could be vulnerable to it,” Burgos said.

He now advocates for the inoculation and urges everyone he knows to get it. He’s even signed up for the flu vaccine — something he has avoided the majority of his adult life.

“The problem with illness is not the toll it takes on a sick person,” he said. “It was harder on Patricia than me, and it was difficult on my family, who had to all watch a loved one get so ill.”

The illness has brought him and Patricia closer, he said. The two plan to get married later this year.

“Patricia has been here every step of the way, even when I was not aware of it,” Burgos said. “Family members tell me how much she was there, and it makes me love her all the more.”

Reach AnnMarie Cornejo at 781-7939.

HERE IS THE COMMENT I ADDED TO FILL IN SOME OF WHAT GOT LEFT OUT:

patricia7771 wrote on 02/21/2010 03:42:54 AM:

Additions to the story on us: This medical nightmare has challenged us to walk our talk, since we are co-authors of an award-winning inspirational book, The Book of Comforts: Simple, Powerful Ways to Comfort Your Spirit, Body & Soul (at Earthtones in PR). Patricia is also a motivational speaker & local Weight Watchers Leader; Michael is a retired Marriage/Family Therapist.

Our work has given us a spiritual perspective on this strange twist of life, heightening our gratitude, bringing moments of humor, pathos & beauty. Read our blog at patriciawords.blogspot.com.

1 correction: Michael is down to 114 pounds, but eating heartily with a special joy from Cherry Coke, which he craved incessantly.

Also, our thanks to Chris Van Huff of Templeton who miraculously walked into Twin Cities as we were asking for him, & encouraged Michael, since Chris survived everything Michael was still fighting.

Kudos to the ICU staff for saving M's life & getting me an illicit cot, & to our fab friends & family.